Until now, I’m still wondering why those people did that to me; why they made me believe in all their lies. I gave everything. I know in myself that I did not do anything wrong. I trusted them, but they let me down. They took away my hope; my hope to find better people. I gave them a chance, I let them in and in return, they just ruined me. I really thought I finally met people who are worth the risk, but they proved me wrong. I was wrong again.
At the end of it, again,
I blame it to myself.
I blame it all to myself.
Honestly, I got tired of understanding myself, especially my feelings. I always doubt, like everything is always unsure. It’s like I’m afraid; I’m afraid to be hurt and to make mistakes, that’s why I have limitations. I set boundaries and refuse to go beyond those. Not trusting myself enough made me doubt people too. It made me think that people tend to do good things temporarily. That somehow, they’re like me, full of doubts and uncertainties. But then I know this is wrong, it’s wrong to feel this way about people. Because I know that we are all different from each other. But can you blame me for not trusting and doubting? If I can’t even trust myself about my feelings, how can I trust people with theirs?
Because I found out that in love,
you should always be open to the
possibility that your heart will get broken,
so it won’t hurt that much.
Look into her eyes, then read what’s within. You’ll see the reality in her. That she’s not strong, she’s broken, she’s unhappy. You’ll see the walls she built, high and unbreakable walls, because behind it are broken pieces. You’ll find that she’s afraid; that she created her own little world inside her because that’s the only way to protect her shattered heart. You’ll see.
You will get your heart broken. It will hurt. A lot. You will piece it back together and it will get shattered again. And again. And again. And it will hurt every time. Your heart will break over things that have nothing to do with significant others. You will have your heart broken when you don’t get the job you really wanted. You will have your heart broken when your parents get sick and you can’t fly home to see them. You will have your heart broken when your best friend moves away. But every time you do, that feeling is a reminder that you cared about something and you took a risk and you put yourself on the line and, most importantly, that you’re alive.